Narcissa and Her Echo
by AraMajor
Summary: Every step we take in life has been planned out for us. Our first kiss, our first love, some never know the reason why they fell for who they did. Some of us find out in the end.


"Evans," Narcissa started with a nod of her head. Through narrowed eyes, Lily repeated the action. The two of them were exact opposites. Narcissa with her tight clothes and her meticulously pinned blonde hair. Lily in jeans and a tee shirt, her red hair loose and moving in the slight breeze. It's springtime, the lake is calm and the day is warm.

"Black," she greeted. "Or is it Malfoy, now?" Narcissa gave a grin and shook her head.

"Not for six more weeks." Lily eyed the older girl and nodded.

"How can you contain your glee?" The words were thick with sarcasm, Narcissa watched as Lily's tongue flicked behind her teeth. Her eyes slid up Lily's face, from her now smirking lips, to her too-green eyes.

"He's a good man," Narcissa said and Lily nodded. Her skin was peachy, she had spent too much time out in the sun these last few days and her freckles shown darker than usual. Narcissa was still as pale as ever, skin as smooth as porcelain with a like rose blush.

"A good," Lily paused, the words churning in her mouth. "Man." The amusement fell from Narcissa's face, her eyes darkening in irritation.

"If you're going to do this every time we speak, I may just stop speaking to you." It was an empty threat, they both knew it, but it still made Lily smile.

"You'd never stop speaking to me," Lily told her. "You can't get enough of me." Narcissa held her head higher and rolled her eyes. "Come on," Lily said, her voice growing lower as she moved closer. "Give me a kiss, Cissa." A hand trailed up Narcissa's arm and she snapped it away, as if she had been electrocuted.

"What do you think you're playing at?" Narcissa snapped. "Out here? Where anyone can see? You're ridiculous, you're a child!" Lily's eyes hardened and she nodded, stepping back. She leaned down and picked up her bag from the ground.

"I'll see you around," she said and walked away. Narcissa watched her go, all hips and hair swishing in the wind. As she walks away Narcissa feels hot tears get caught in her throat.

* * *

"Cissa," she sat straight up in her four poster bed. Her breath was coming fast and a thin sheen of sweat coated her skin.

"Cissa," the voice came again and Narcissa had to hold back a scream. There's no way the muggleborn could be in here. No one would have given her the password, or even shown her where the common room was. If she had even found those out, Narcissa had heard rumors of anti-muggleborn jinxes to keep them out. Then again, Lily Evans was a prefect so she very well may have just been given the information. Carefully, Narcissa opened the heavy green curtains around her bed and let her bare feet touch the cool stone floor. Looking around at her still slumbering roommates, she grabs a robe and cinches it tight at the waist.

Three loud bangs made Narcissa jump and hold a hand to her mouth. Outside the window, where the glimmer of the moon cuts through the Black Lake, Narcissa could see a few of the merpeople, fighting one another. The bangs were cracks of electricity they were sending to shock the other. This would happen from time to time, one would be too territorial, another would venture too close. Narcissa let out a breath, and laughed at her own foolishness. She shakes her head and steps back to her bed, only for her heart to stop beating once more.

"Narcissa," that sound didn't come from the merpeople. Looking around, wide eyed, Narcissa slips back to her bed and shuts the curtains. She pulls her knees to her chest and breathes slowly, until she finally falls back asleep.

* * *

The next morning at breakfast Narcissa staunchly avoids looking towards the Gryffindor table. She knows if she does, Evans will meet her eyes and will grin at the dark circles, knowing she kept Narcissa awake. She'll pull her aside in the hallway and make some comment about it. 'Couldn't sleep with me on your mind, Cissa?' The idea nauseates her, so she sets the rest of her apple down and just sips at her tea for the rest of breakfast.

She left the great hall, right in the middle of Celeste Rosier telling a story she was meant to be listening to. She heard Selene and Celeste chatter as she walked off. She planned to go and sit in the Charms classroom in silence until classes began, working on homework or reading. As she bumped into Lily Evans, less of a bump and more of a collision, her plans changed.

If she had looked at the Gryffindor table she would have noticed Lily wasn't there. Narcissa looked at the red head angrily. Narcissa was a good deal taller than Lily, but with a slimmer build. Lily was shorter, but carried more curves.

"Come with me," Narcissa said before looking around to see who was nearby. Without a word, Lily followed the blonde to the Charms room. When Lily entered she slid to sit on a desktop and crossed her legs at the knee. Narcissa continued to stand, crossed her arms and tapped her foot. "Well?" She asked in an accusatory tone.

"Well what?" Lily asked, her brow furrowed in confusion.

"Well, do you have anything to say for yourself? No wise comments about keeping me up all night?" Lily smirked at this.

"How is it my fault you were dreaming of me?" Lily wanted to laugh, but the absolute anger on Narcissa's face kept her from it. "Come on Cissa," Lily almost cooed. "I promise I didn't do anything, and I'm sorry you didn't get enough sleep." Narcissa huffed and rolled her eyes. Lily didn't want to deal with her in this mood, so she slid off the desktop. "I'm going to breakfast," she said. "We'll talk soon." Narcissa turned to tell her off one more time, but the redhead was already gone.

"Are you alright?" One of the seventh year Ravenclaw girls asked as a few students began filtering into the room. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Something like that," Narcissa said before walking to her chair.

* * *

"Evans," Narcissa hissed. Lily, who had been scouring the library for a book she wanted to use on her Potions essay, turned to her.

"Black," she said. Her usual smile was absent, and Narcissa felt her mouth go dry.

"Come here," Narcissa said and Lily rolled her eyes.

"I'm busy," she said sourly. "Some of us have to do well so we can get jobs. We can't all rely on fancy marriages." Narcissa felt her stomach drop as Lily turned and stalked off.

* * *

 _Lily Evans,_

 _I have heard through a mutual friend that you scored exceptionally well on your O.W.L.'s. I also obtained several Outstandings on my N.E.W.T.'s. I hope you truly do not think a good job and a good marriage are mutually exclusive. I look forward to seeing what you get up to after school. Until then, I send you my best regards._

 _Narcissa Black_

* * *

 _Narcissa,_

 _They may not be mutually exclusive, but what do you plan to do with your scores?_

 _Lily Evans_

* * *

"Narcissa, why are you shaking?" Bellatrix hissed. "Stop it, you don't want Lucius thinking you're weak, do you?" She wasn't scared of marriage, or of Lucius. She was angry. Furious with Lily Evans. Thinking she's better than everyone, just because she's intelligent. It's repulsive.

"Bella, I can tell you anything right?" Bellatrix eyed her younger sister curiously.

"Of course, love," Bellatrix said sitting down next to her sister. Narcissa was wrapped in white silk and lace, her hair pinned in an elaborate French twist. Diamonds twisted in her hair, and dangling from her ears. She looked ethereal.

"There was someone, my last year at Hogwarts," she began slowly and Bellatrix nodded slowly.

"You didn't break the fidelity-," Narcissa cut Bella off quickly with a shake of her head. "Smart girl." Narcissa blinked quickly, looking around to make sure their mother was nowhere around.

"It wasn't like that," Narcissa added quickly. "She was a- a _mudblood_ who thought she was better than me because she was going to have a job. That she was better because she was going to make a change in the world." That was what had drawn her to Lily to begin with. Her dreams of a better world, a more beautiful world. Narcissa remembered one night, when Lily had been helping her with a potion in one of the extra labs in the dungeons. It had to sit and simmer for an hour, and they had talked about everything. The room was humid with the potion, and they were lit by nothing but a few candle sconces on the wall.

"I want to make things better for everyone, not just muggle borns. I want werewolves and vampires to be recognized as people, not just creatures. We live in this incredible world of endless possibilities. The oppression we all let happen is not the best we can do. We're witches, we're better than this." Lily seemed to be able to speak for hours without stopping, she had such a raw belief in good that Narcissa couldn't help but be enraptured by her passion. Even if Narcissa didn't believe in everything Lily wanted to do, the way she spoke left her breathless.

That was the first night they had kissed.

A snort of amusement from Bellatrix brought Narcissa back to the present, where she was only hours away from her wedding to Lucius Malfoy.

"Mudbloods always have that attitude," Bellatrix said. She wandered over to the dressing table and began rifling through Narcissa's things. "They flounce about, acting as if they know anything. As if their people didn't persecute us for years. Now we have all the power, and they send their dirty blooded children to try and steal it." Lily didn't flounce, she strode with a high head and swaying hips.

"If we have the power, why do we hide?" The words caught Narcissa off-guard, she snapped her head to the left, where Lily Evans stood. Bright spring sunshine illuminated her and caught the golden highlights in her red hair. Mouth gaping, Narcissa turned to Bellatrix, who was still rifling through the drawers as if she hadn't heard Lily. Narcissa turned back and Lily smiled at her. "You look beautiful, Cissa. You look more an angel than a bride." Bellatrix still hadn't heard her and Narcissa was very close to forgetting how to breathe.

"What's wrong with you?" Bellatrix asked, finally finding the pair of earrings she wanted to wear. Narcissa looked back to her left, Lily was gone.

* * *

"Mrs. Malfoy," Narcissa was greeted as she stepped into Madam Malkin's. "Your honeymoon treated you well I see." Narcissa grinned at Madam Malkin and nodded.

"Oh we had a wonderful time, but it really is nice to be home. I was just stopping by to see if Lucius's robes were ready."

"Let me check in the back," Madam Malkin said with a smile before disappearing behind a curtain. Narcissa busied herself looking around the shop. The new summer designs were on display and Narcissa was picking through the different colors available. She was humming to herself, distracted when the door opened. A breeze blew through the open door, wafting the scent of lemongrass towards Narcissa. Her head snapped up, and she made eye contact with Lily Evans.

"Mrs. Malfoy," Lily drawled sarcastically.

"You can call me Narcissa, you know." Lily only shrugged at this and continued into the store. "How have you been?" She asked politely.

"Busy," Lily said. "I spent the summer with your cousin," she said and Narcissa felt color rush to her face.

"I heard James Potter's parents died," Narcissa said softly. "I was sorry to hear it, they were good people." Lily scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"Even if they were _blood-traitors_?" The snark in Lily's words was harsh, and it hurt to hear it.

"It's easier to judge people when you take away their politics," Narcissa said.

"Take away someone's politics and you take away their morals," Lily replied.

"Why are you being so nasty?" Narcissa asked, her voice low. Lily could see the hurt in her eyes, and for a moment let her guard down.

"I heard the wedding was beautiful," Lily said softly.

"It could have been better," Narcissa admitted. "I wish I could have invited you." Tears welled in Lily's eyes and the anger was back.

"You think I would have wanted to watch you marry someone else?" Lily hissed. "Am I just a plaything you like to torture? Is this all a game to you?" Narcissa reached out and took Lily's hand. Lily looked down at it, and tried to blink her tears away.

"It was never any game to me," Narcissa insisted. "I care for you Lily, deeply."

"Stop," Lily said and Narcissa dropped her hand. "If you cared for me, why marry Lucius? All those times you kissed me, was there ever any doubt you would marry him?" Narcissa didn't answer for a long time.

"I don't have the option of being who I want to be all the time. No there was never any doubt, but there was a hope." Lily watched Narcissa, tears starting up in her eyes again. Lily's breath was coming fast, and in a flash she reached forward and grabbed Narcissa's face and pulled their lips together. Narcissa reached up, her hands wrapping in red tendrils. Their kiss was rushed, and desperate.

"I found them, Mrs. Malfoy!" Madam Malkin called from the back room. The two women broke apart, Lily's eyes were burning and her cheeks flushed. Madam Malkin walked back into the front room, just as Lily gathered herself enough to flee. "Would you like to pay now, or put them on your account?" Madam Malkin asked pleasantly, unaware of what had just transpired in her store.

"I'll pay now," Narcissa said, distracted. She followed Madam Malkin to the counter where Lucius's robes were and Narcissa slid a pouch of galleons and sickles over. "Thank you," Narcissa muttered before quickly leaving the store.

* * *

 _Narcissa,_

 _It was good to run into you in Diagon Alley last week. I have always enjoyed your conversation. I've been thinking of last years potions assignments, and the conversations we used to have. It would be wonderful to see you again soon._

 _Lily Evans_

* * *

"Who are you writing to?" Lucius asked her curiously over breakfast. He was sipping his tea, the Daily Prophet in front of him. Narcissa looked up at him and smiled, a blank piece of parchment and a quill in her hand.

"I ran into an old school friend, she wrote me and I've been trying to write her back."

"Not the mudblood, right?" Lucius asks and Narcissa laughs. If she doesn't laugh, she may cry.

"Yes her," Narcissa said eventually. "I actually heard a rumor she found out she was a halfblood. Still not great, but better than mud." Lucius huffed and gave a shrug.

"Did I tell you I was going into London tonight?" Lucius asks and Narcissa nods. "I won't be back until tomorrow, will you be okay here alone?" Narcissa nods, trying not to look too eager.

* * *

 _Lily,_

 _If you are interested, I would be honored to host you this evening at Malfoy Manor. My husband will be gone and I would appreciate the company. I often get lonely in this big house, lost in the many shadows and alcoves._

 _I hope to see you tonight,_

 _Narcissa_

* * *

Narcissa had not expected Lily to show up, and yet here she was, sitting on the floor of Narcissa's parlor, looking through her books.

"Lot's of old wizard custom stuff," Lily noted and Narcissa nodded.

"It's all things passed down from mother to daughter. My elder sisters had no interest in them, so I got them all." Lily absently nodded at this as she pulled out a book covered in red leather.

"What does your husband do?" Lily asked, opening the book and skimming the pages.

"He's the head of Malfoy Apothecary, and he sits on a few Boards." Narcissa answered, as she stood and walked to a small table with a bottle of wine. She offered a glass to Lily, who nodded in agreement.

"And what do you do?" Lily asked as she took the glass of wine Narcissa offered her. Narcissa puckered her lips at the question.

"I have yet to find my niche," she said slowly. Lily just hummed in understanding. "What about you? What's your plan?"

"I still have to finish at Hogwarts, but I don't have a definite plan yet. I'm sure McGonagall will give me some options when we meet." Lily sipped her wine and put the book back on the shelf. "Come sit with me," Lily said meeting Narcissa's eyes. With a smile, Narcissa moved to sit next to Lily on the plush carpeting. Lily turned towards Narcissa and brushed a piece of blonde hair from her face.

"You're beautiful," Narcissa said softly. Her hand coming up to Lily's cheek. She could feel the redhead's cheek warm beneath her hand.

"Why did you ask me over tonight?" Lily asked quietly.

"You know why," Narcissa said and then she leaned forward. Lily met her halfway and caught her lips. Both glasses of wine were now forgotten and had toppled over on the carpet. Neither woman noticed. Hands pulled at hair, mouths gasped for air. Lily pushed Narcissa back and crawled on top of her.

Narcissa let out a breathy gasp as Lily moved her lips down to the blondes neck. Narcissa wrapped her arms around Lily, her back arching off the carpet. Lily nipped at the soft skin and Narcissa mewled, reaching up to grab a fistful of Lily's hair which pulled a gasp from Lily.

The two women rolled, putting Narcissa on top. She sat back and began to slowly undo Lily's blouse. Lily watched her hungrily, and Narcissa watched her enraptured. Peachy, freckled skin was uncovered. As Narcissa ran her fingers over her stomach and Lily arched forward. Then Narcissa trailed her fingers up to Lily's bra, and unclasped it. She stared in wonder at a moment, Lily had forgotten to breathe, and then Narcissa ducked her head and took one of Lily's light pink nipples in her mouth.

"Cissa!" Lily breathed and Narcissa moaned, bringing her hand up to the other nipple. "Oh Cissa you're-," Lily whispered and Narcissa gently nipped at the soft skin.

"Just you wait," Narcissa said with a grin. Lily cocked her head to the side, but then she felt Narcissa's hand trailing up her thigh and she knew exactly what was coming. "We're alone, lover. You can say my name as loud as you want." And then Narcissa ducked her head beneath Lily's thighs.

* * *

 _Lily,_

 _I hope school is treating you well. I hope I can see you on your next break. Tell me where you will be staying and I will find you. Write soon, I'm thinking of you._

 _Narcissa_

* * *

 _Lily,_

 _I have heard through the gossip grapevine that you and James Potter are now official. I hope you are happy, I've only ever wanted your happiness._

 _Narcissa_

* * *

 _Lily,_

 _Why don't you write anymore?_

 _Narcissa_

* * *

 _Narcissa,_

 _November 13, 5 o' clock. Hogsmeade Village._

 _I'll be at the end of the cottage lane._

 _Lily_

* * *

She sensed her before she saw her. "Lily," Narcissa breathed and turned to see the redhead. Narcissa strode towards her, face alight with joy.

"Hi," Lily replied shortly. She stepped into Narcissa's open arms and kissed the other woman on the cheek.

"I thought you regretted it," Narcissa admitted. "I woke up, alone and surrounded by spilled wine." Lily looked away from Narcissa at this. "Why didn't you write?"

"You're married," Lily whispered harshly. "That's always been the issue, Cissa." Narcissa's face fell and she nodded.

"I'm sorry that I put you in that situation then," she said quietly.

"Cissa," Lily said. "I don't regret what happened, I think about it more often than I should."

"Then don't run from it," Narcissa said. "Just be with me."

"In secret? Hidden away in one of the many rooms in your palace?" Lily asked, her voice growing louder the angrier she got. "I'm not a dirty secret Narcissa. I'm not going to ask you to choose-," Lily was cut off.

"Yes you are!" Narcissa snapped. "You've always wanted me to choose, you think that I'll choose you but it's not going to happen!" Narcissa crossed her arms and huffed a breath. "No, lover, you're not a dirty secret, but that doesn't mean we can tell anyone anything."

"That's the exact definition of dirty secret, _lover_ ," she snapped the word at Narcissa angrily. "Goodbye, Cissa. Enjoy your beautiful pureblooded life." Then Lily stalked off, snow getting caught in her hair.

* * *

 _Lily,_

 _I'm sorry the way things ended the last time I saw you. You deserve better._

 _Narcissa_

* * *

 _Narcissa,_

 _I'm getting married, I wanted to be the one to tell you._

 _Lily_

* * *

Narcissa laid in bed with Lucius next to her. His soft snores that had lulled her to sleep now kept her up. She stood and walked to the wide window and looked out across the Malfoy grounds. She had found out three days ago she was pregnant. Lucius had been ecstatic, she looked back towards her husband. His pale skin and hair glowing in the moonlight, the black of the Dark Mark a stark comparison. A tapping on the window turned her around. Lily was outside her window, grinning. The redhead curled a finger, telling Narcissa to come outside.

Quickly and quietly, Narcissa found shoes and a cloak to throw on. She ran down the stairs, two at a time and stepped out of the front doors, running to the side of the Manor her window faces.

"Why are you here?" She cried when she saw Lily.

"Because you need me to be," Lily told her. Narcissa stepped forward, to bring Lily towards her. Her arms found nothing, Lily wasn't really here. She was nothing more than an apparition. "You can't touch me, lover," Lily said. "But we can talk."

"Do you love him?" Narcissa asked and Lily smiled again.

"I do, and he loves me. Treats me well." Narcissa nodded and quirked an eyebrow.

"Better than I treated you?" She asked and Lily laughed out loud, moving to cross her arms.

"Depends on the night," Lily said amused. Her smile faded and she looked back to Narcissa. "Lover, I have to tell you, there will come a day I will need your protection."

"What?" Narcissa asked confused. The cold was starting to attack her now. Lily's face hardened.

"It will not make sense now, but you will know when. If you truly love me, you will know what you need to do."

"Lily-," she began, but her words broke off as Lily disappeared. "Oh God," Narcissa moaned, collapsing on the ground. "I'm going crazy," she whispered.

* * *

"Lucius, don't leave," Narcissa cooed, Draco on her hip. "It's Halloween, love. You should be with family." Lucius smiled and nodded. He kissed his son, he kissed his wife.

"You know why I have to go," he told her and she nodded. "It'll all be over soon and we can all go on a vacation together." Draco babbled and reached for his father.

"Be careful," Narcissa told him, Lucius nodded and kissed his wife again.

* * *

Narcissa sat up, a scream caught in her throat. Lucius had never returned and his half of the bed was cold.

"Lily," Narcissa whispered. "Lily you're here, aren't you?" Looking around the room frantically, she finally spotted the phantom. Lily stood at the window in a gauzy, white gown. Her hair was down and wild. She was watching Narcissa hungrily.

"He killed me tonight, but you knew that didn't you?" Narcissa felt tears begin to fall down her cheeks.

"I thought you were protected," Narcissa insisted.

"I was never safe," Lily crawled into bed and leaned towards Narcissa. "Give me a kiss," said the phantom.

"You know I can't," Narcissa said quietly.

"Just try," Lily said and Narcissa did. The kiss was as electric as it had been in life. Narcissa traced her fingers down the body of a ghost, and let the ghost grip her hair so tight Narcissa thought it was being ripped out. She gasped and cried, wondering if she would ever see Lily again after this night.

* * *

Narcissa waits up every Halloween, waiting for the day Lily might grace her again. Just a kiss, just a look and Narcissa would be satisfied for another year. Every year she waits on the anniversary of her lovers death, and she cries. Alone in her parlor, gorging herself on red wine and waiting for the sun to rise in the distance.

Lucius never asks her who she mourns, he's afraid of the answer.

* * *

"Is he dead?" Tom Riddle asked, and that was when years of Narcissa's pain and confusion finally made sense. Her ghost of a companion, of a lover had mentioned this many years ago. Knowing what she would find, Narcissa looked up from Harry's limp body, and saw her former lover standing with a wicked grin. She raised a single, pale white hand, and beckoned Narcissa forward.

She stepped forward, her foot sliding on dead leaves. She felt Lucius try to grab at her hand, but she moved from his grasp. She moved with purpose towards Lily's son and dropped to her knees as gracefully as she could in this state. Lily knelt with her, still twenty-one and beautiful. Her hand reached out and touched Narcissa's face.

"It's okay," Lily said. Narcissa leaned over Harry, her eyes finally leaving Lily.

"Is Draco alive?" She asked, her voice barely louder than a whisper. She heard her sister and Tom behind her, she heard a few jeers, she heard a returned 'yes'. Then she heard Lily laugh.

"He's dead," Narcissa said, returning to her feet.

"Thank you, lover," and then Lily was gone.

Narcissa knew she would never see her lover again.


End file.
